Indifferent.

I should be going to sleep soon, and I will. I just have alot of things on my mind tonight. A lot of things that I wish I didn't have to think about or feel. I try to make sense of life & things going on around me but sometimes, I just can't. Sometimes I feel like I put so much focus on being strong that I end up being so weak. With everything that's been going on lately, I need an outlet. But I've yet to find anything that really makes me feel any different or any better. Kind of like I'm shouting out to the world that I'm hurting, but all I hear is an empty echo. When I need to talk, nobody's around. And when I have the opportunity to get it out, I can't find the words. I have things that I *should* be excited for, but I don't feel anything. I'm moving into my own place friday, everyone is asking if I'm getting excited yet, and I should be, but I'm not. It's like I don't even really care. I should be proud of myself for paying my way through school, but all I can think of are the things I'm not doing. I can't find my way out of these feelings lately.