Monday, March 16, 2009

Another personal post.

Talking, or Blogging about things going on lately is helping me out more than I thought it would. I used to write all the time several years ago, in journals and diaries. I forgot how good it feels to get things out in the open so they're not bottled up inside. I'm having some issues that I don't really understand at the moment. I had to have a talk with my boyfriend about 2 weeks ago about how I felt like I was being put kind of on the back burner. Well, I am still feeling that way, so I brought it up again last night. He doesn't really understand why I'm feeling that way. Well, right now he's just starting a business here in town, it's taking a lot of his time to get it on the right track. It was run by a complete moron before, and so they changed the name and all and he's going into it 50/50 with another guy. He's been working a lot out there trying to get everything organized and don't get me wrong, I understand that. But at the same time, I've been dealing with so much lately that when I have needed to talk, he's not here. Or when he is here, he's tired. Things are lacking in all departments, & i'm not sure how I feel about it all. I manage to make time for him, I feel like he should be able to do the same. Today he told me that he didn't know what to say about it, just that he was sorry I felt that way. And that he doesn't love me any less, just that he's trying to do everything the right way so he doesn't miss out on the opportunity. Am I stupid for feeling neglected? I sit here by myself so much. My friends here, aren't real friends. They're the type that calls me when they have a problem, and can't be found when I need somebody. Same goes with my family, it's all about what I can do to benefit them. And I'm really tired of feeling like this. I feel like I don't have anybody :(


J-Mi said...

It's easy to feel like this, I understand where you're coming from! While I was reading my first thoughts were are there ways you can help out with the business to still be around him some?

I guess what I'm getting at is it might be easy to let your stresses in non-relationship areas cause you to put more stress on your relationship than you mean to.

Most of my friends are like how you're talking about, and the ones that aren't are really far away.

The Queen said...

No, you are not wrong for feeling the way that you do. I feel the same way with my bf sometimes and he still doesn't get him when I approach him about it. I feel as if he is being selfish sometimes because my needs aren't being met. I honestly don't think he knows what it takes to meet my needs. You might have to sit your bf down and tell him exactly what you want and what you aren't getting.

Nissa Nicole said...

Aw, I feel bad for missing this post. You are now officially on my blogroll so I don't miss again.

These things are difficult. You're both in different stages, and that can sometimes be hard to reconcile. You're definitely not wrong for feeling neglected, but there's a difference between that and a situation that's not complementary on both ends. Compromise is hard, especially when you both have important things going on in life.

Friends can be such a bummer. I totally get you on that one. I think you probably feel lonely in general, and it exacerbates the situation with him.

Take care of yourself and be honest. That's all you can do! Keep creating and blogging and twittering. There's so many of us out here who think you're swell. :D

The Queen said...

Just checking in on your, haven't read any new blogs from ya. Hope you are doing okay!

Mike said...

I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere. And I want nothing in return, ever. =]

So now you don't have to feel like you don't have anybody, because you do. And you always will. So long as you want me around. Period.